I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
