im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize