I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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