I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i came on her dog
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
it's like heaven, but drunker
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
