Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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