"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
