i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
