Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
