I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
