i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
How external is "for external use only"?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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