I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
