Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
