i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
