for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
