the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
