Whod you bang
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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