i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize