omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
