their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
