u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
