So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
