trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
