non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
