nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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