this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
