"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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