I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize