The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
