Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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