Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
