we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
