If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
