a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel great
I just peed on a car
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
