Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
