if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
