I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
