just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
