I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
