Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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