you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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