No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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