He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
