We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
