She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
