In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
