She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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