Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
