I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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