just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
