You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
