Plan B is the new Plan A
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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