Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
