Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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