That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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