Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
