I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
