who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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