so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
