A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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