If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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