Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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